Proverbs 30:23
An Odious Woman and a Handmaid
1. Agur is describing four things that disquiet the earth and that the earth cannot bear. (vs 21)
2. Last week we consider the first two: (1) a servant who reigns and (2) a fool who is filled with meat.
3. Tonight we want to consider the last two: (1) an odious woman when she is married; and (2) a handmaid that is heir to her mistress.
A. An Odious Woman
1. Odious defined:
a. Odious means “to be hated; to be detested; abhorred; intense dislike; a lack of compassion for; unloved;
b. In the broadest sense, it is used of all kinds of hatred or intense dislike.
2. Usage of the term:
a. Gen. 37:5 – “And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more.” (family hatred—jealousy)
b. Lev. 19:17 – “Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart.” (internal hatred)
c. Judges 11:7 – “And Jephthah said unto the elders of Gilead, Did not ye hate me, and expel me out of my father’s house?” (hatred among fellow countrymen – feared him)
d. Prov. 14:20 – “The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends.” (neighbors – social bigotry)
e. Prov. 8:36 – “But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death.” (a fool who hates wisdom)
f. Deut. 33:11 – “Bless, LORD, his substance, and accept the work of his hands: smite through the loins of them that rise against him, and of them that hate him, that they rise not again.” (those who hate the Lord)
3. There are lots of reasons why people might hate others.
a. The odious woman is one who is hated.
b. The English word “odious” seems to imply that the fault lay with the woman. The Hebrew term simply states that she was hated—and does not imply any reason for that hatred.
c. However, the word translated “odious” could be interpreted as “hateful”… thus laying the blame on the woman.
d. It seems best to me (in light of its usage elsewhere) to view this woman as one who is hated or unloved rather than hateful.
e. Either way, what is described is a marriage without love.
B. An Odious Woman When She is Married
1. Agur describes the odious woman in more detail here. He emphasizes a kind of hatred associated with her marriage.
2. Specific usage of the term “odious” relating to marriage:
a. Deut. 21:15 – used 2 times: “If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated.”
b. Gen. 29:31 – “And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.”
c. Of course, the term is used in lots of other contexts, but these two seem closest in meaning to its usage in Prov. 30:23.
d. An odious woman is one who is hated; scorned; whose love is rejected in her marriage.
3. Agur is describing a married woman who is not loved by her husband.
a. The examples in the Old Testament can be traced back to polygamy as the root cause.
b. It was so common, that a law had to be established to regulate the inheritance.
• Deut. 21:16 – “Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn.”
c. With multiple wives, some would be loved more than others.
• Gen. 29:30 – “And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.”
• It resulted in jealousy, envy, anger, and hatred.
• Of course, polygamy was not God’s design for marriage. God brought Adam one wife—not many.
• The Old Testament gives us ample proof that polygamy is not only not God’s design—it doesn’t work well. It created all kinds of problems in the home.
4. For this, the earth is disquieted. (vs.21)
a. Disquiet: To cause to tremble; to cause to shake; to disturb; to be in anguish; to disturb; to agitate; to provoke to anger.
b. A home where the woman is not loved is earth-shaking.
c. It is disruptive to God’s plan… to society… and certainly to the marriage relationship and the children.
d. A home where the wife is not loved by her husband provokes the wife to anger… it agitates the children and upsets their lives too.
e. It is not God’s design for the home.
f. God’s design is described in Eph. 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
g. Children are also to demonstrate their love for their mother by honoring (showing respect and appreciation to) her (Eph. 6:2).
h. Agur’s point is that when the woman in the home is not loved, the whole earth is disquieted—it is disturbing to God’s plan for life on planet earth. It is extremely disturbing to the natural order of things which God built into His creation.
i. This is NOT the way things ought to be!
5. For this, the earth cannot bear. (vs. 21)
a. Figuratively it means to carry something on the heart that is difficult to carry; hard to bear. For example: bearing burdens on the heart; bearing guilt; bearing through a trial; etc.
b. Agur is using the term in a figurative sense here.
c. His point is that there are some things that occur that are “unbearable.”
d. They will break the back of a society or a nation if allowed to continue.
e. There are lots of evils in the world, but this one is unbearable. It cannot be tolerated.
f. Our society is seeing the effects of this from coast to coast.
g. Men use women for their own pleasure; they have children; they don’t get married; they demonstrate by their actions that they do not love the woman they should have married.
h. And in many marriages there is infidelity… another demonstration of the fact that the wife is not loved and cherished. If she was, there would be no infidelity.
i. An unloved married woman is something that is unbearable to the home… to a society… and to a nation.
j. The home is the building block of society… and we see the building blocks of our society crumbling.
k. It will break the back of our nation and does not bode well for the future of any people. It is unbearable.
l. And yet all of this can be resolved as simply as men obeying God’s Word: “Husbands, love your wives.”
m. As Christians, we ought to be LIGHTS in the midst of darkness.
n. When there is little light emanating from a Christian home—that is really bad news for our nation.
o. The answer there is also simple: “Husbands, love your wives.”
p. The onus is on the husband to take the lead in that too… loving a wife—regardless of how she treats you. That’s what love is.
1. This is the fourth example of an unbearable thing: a handmaid who is heir to her mistress.
2. A mistress refers to a lady of some prominence and stature.
a. It is sometimes used of a queen or a female ruler.
b. It also is often used of a woman who has servants under her.
c. This is the meaning of the term in our proverb.
3. This example is very similar to the first example: a servant who reigns.
a. The handmaid is a female servant.
b. The normal order of things was that the servants serve. That’s their job; that’s what they were hired to do.
c. But when a female servant becomes heir to the lady she works for—look out! That spells trouble ahead.
d. Just like the servant would be ill equipped, untrained, unprepared to be a ruler and reign, so too a female servant who is heir to her mistress will one day suddenly be thrust into a position of power, great wealth, and prominence for which she is woefully unprepared.
4. This situation too can become unbearable… and extremely disturbing to all involved.
a. It is not the way things ought to be.
b. Often, when someone is instantly thrust into a position of great power, it goes to their head—and they themselves become unbearable!
5. Overall, in all four of these examples of “unbearable things”, Agur describes a perversion of the natural order of things as God designed.
a. Normally, kings reign and servants serve. When that is reversed, it often leads to trouble.
b. Normally fools are lazy and have nothing; but if a fool suddenly comes into a lot of money and has all he needs and is “full”—then look out. His folly will be over the top!
c. Normally a husband is to love his wife. That’s God’s plan. But when God’s plan is rejected, and a married woman is unloved, expect trouble.
d. And normally, a female servant serves. But if that order is reversed, and the female servant takes over the position of power that her mistress once had—she probably won’t be prepared to handle that very well.
e. When young athletes or young actors suddenly become rich and famous, their lives don’t always turn out well. There are exceptions—but this is the rule.
f. When God’s order in the home is not carried out (an unloved married woman), it creates disorder, jealousy, and disrupts the home life. That’s not God’s way.
g. And just imagine what the future holds for America, when we think of how much MORE the family is being changed in this generation. We are legalizing immorality—changing God’s design for the family. Now we are tolerating two husbands or two wives. Polygamy must be right around the corner—and who knows what else. God help us!
h. To use the words of Agur: the earth will be disquieted, and our nation will not be able to bear it!
i. We need to pray for our leaders as God has commanded.
j. We need to be willing to be considered old fashioned and out of step with the modern world—because the modern world is out of step with God.
k. A society works well only when each one does his job and fulfills his role as he or she was designed to do… and to be.
l. The same is true in the local church. The local church works well only when each one does his job and fulfills his role as he or she was equipped by God to do.
m. I Cor. 12:7, 18 – “But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.” 18“But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.”