Proverbs 27:15-16
A Contentious Woman
1. The book of Proverbs is exceptionally practical. It speaks to all areas of life. It is a treasure chest for those giving advice and counsel.
2. One who gives counsel to a brother will be confronted with many of the same, chronic issues that are common to man: money problems; problems with kids; problems with spouses; problems that arise because of the tongue; a lack of diligence; a lack of sincerity; etc.
3. Solomon was a wise observer of human behavior. And he recorded his divinely inspired observations about life.
4. And in his observations, he made several comments on the theme that we see in Proverbs 27:15-16 – a contentious woman.
a. Prov. 19:13 – “A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.”
b. Prov. 21:9 – “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”
c. Prov. 21:19 – “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”
d. Prov. 25:24 – “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”
e. Prov. 27:15 – “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”
5. One could argue that this was written from a man’s perspective. It is biased. It is one sided. Men can be contentious too.
a. It certainly is written by a man from a man’s perspective.
b. But let’s not forget that they are also inspired Scripture… written by the Holy Spirit for our learning and our admonition.
c. And these verses were repeated for a purpose.
d. There are lots of passages that deal with the shortcomings of men too.
e. The terms “man or men” occur in Proverbs over 200 times. The terms “woman or women” occur only 28 times.
f. Many of those proverbs deal with problems relating to mankind in general, but some to males in particular. We men have our issues too.
g. But our present proverb points out a problem that Solomon (the Holy Spirit) observed occurring frequently among women: they can be very contentious.
h. Solomon observed this phenomenon enough that he was prompted to write 5 proverbs about this very point… for emphasis… and to drive the truth home.
i. It should be noted also that Solomon knew a little something about contentious women. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines!
j. A couple of footnotes:
• First, I am just the messenger.
• Secondly, there is almost a whole chapter coming up in Proverbs that deals with the virtuous woman. There is no male counterpart to that.
1. A contentious woman
a. Contentious defined:
• Strong’s: “Brawling” twice, strife, contention.
• Dissention, quarreling, disputing
• This term is used 9 times in the Bible, and ONLY in Proverbs.
• Five out of nine times this term appears in the Bible it is used of a contentious, argumentative woman.
• This proverb would apply to a contentious woman in the work world too—perhaps your boss!
• While this might be applied in many situations, it appears likely that the “woman” was the man’s wife in this proverb. These are domestic issues being raised here.
b. The contentious woman argues and fights with her husband over every little thing.
• She does not allow him to have any peace.
• She is constantly correcting him… pointing out his faults… reminding him of his failures… shortcomings… sins…
• She remembers every tiny detail of every argument they have ever had… and she never fails to bring them all up… over and over again…
• She has a “to do” list a mile long and badgers him over the things that he hasn’t yet done…
• She nit-picks every little thing he does or says.
• She doesn’t really need a good reason to argue. She could argue over the weather and blame her husband for it.
2. Solomon compares a contentious woman to a constant DRIPPING of water…
a. This likely had reference to a leaky roof. (Many of the roofs of common folks were made of sod – and would leak and drip when saturated from a heavy rain storm.)
b. In fact, the sod roofs often leaked long after the storm was over! There could be a severe rain storm on Monday that saturates the sod roof. And long after the rain clouds are gone, the roof still drips—for days!
c. The nagging wife is like the constant dripping of water. The argument may have ended on Monday, but she has a way of bringing it up long after the fight subsided.
d. We might liken it today to a leaky faucet – that endlessly drips, is irritating, and drives you crazy. That’s the point.
e. A nagging wife drives her husband crazy. It is a home a husband doesn’t want to come home to. Solomon noted in three other proverbs that the husband would rather live on the roof… or in the wilderness than in a wide house with a brawling woman.
f. If the roof is continually leaking – it will eventually cause the contents of the house to ROT.
g. The continual dripping of a wife has been the ruin of many homes. Some men get to the point where they can’t stand it any more and take off for the wilderness!
h. Knowing how damaging nagging can be to a relationship… how unbearable it can become for the husband… ladies would do well to take heed to Solomon’s warning here…
i. The Bible is the greatest psychology book in the world. God knows the human psyche better than anyone else. He created it! He knows how it works. Human psychology has a mixture of truth and error. The Bible has nothing but truth.
j. God knows the difference between men and women. Here God states what really drives a man crazy. Godly women who want to build up rather than tear down their homes would do well to take heed to Solomon’s divinely inspired advice.
k. This proverb is more than simply stating facts. The facts are given as a warning… and appropriate action is expected to be taken where needed.
l. When someone tells you that faulty wiring can burn your house down, it is more than a fact. It is a warning – to take care of any faulty wiring you might have.
1. The analogy of verse 15 had already been made in another proverb in an earlier chapter. But verse 16 adds a new comment to the theme.
2. The new truth added here is the fact that the contentious woman not only is nagging, irritating, and drives her husband crazy, but she is almost impossible to stop.
3. Restraining her contentions is like trying to restrain the wind.
a. The word translated “hide” means to hide in the sense of locking up, storing away, concealing, or putting something away… out of sight.
b. It seems to be used here in the sense of restraining, and it is translated that way in several translations.
c. In this context, restrain seems to better capture Solomon’s meaning.
d. You can do your best to restrain the wind, but it is going to keep on blowing whenever it wants to.
e. And wind can be very damaging. Consider the damage done by a hurricane. You can try your best to prepare for a hurricane, but in spite of man’s best efforts, it will blow when it wants and it will do a lot of damage.
f. You’re not going to stop it. All you can do is try to protect yourself against it.
g. The point of this proverb is that a contentious woman is like that. There is no stopping her.
h. The husband isn’t going to be able to restrain her. Any restraint has to come from the wife. Only she can put the argument to rest and stop the dripping.
i. This is a good warning to the husband too. Don’t try to FORCE her to stop. Learn to restrain yourself and learn to let it roll off your back like water off a duck’s back. Trying to restrain the dripping will be like trying to stop the wind.
4. Solomon uses another illustration to drive home the same point.
a. The second expression is not as easy to understand.
b. It has to do with oil which “bewrayeth” itself.
c. Bewrayeth = This term has a broad range of meaning: To call; to declare; to summon; to read; name; proclaim; publish.
d. Most understand this expression to mean that it is like trying pick up a handful of oil.
• NKJV: “Grasps oil with his right hand….”
• It just oozes out of your hand. You can’t really get a grasp on it. It is slippery.
e. Another interpretation sees a man who has anointed someone with a scented oil. The scent “bewrayeth itself” – announces or proclaims its presence…
• The point here is that it is virtually impossible to hide the strong fragrance of scented oil on one’s hand.
5. Each of the illustrations (regardless of which interpretation you take of the oil) drive home a similar point: there is no good way to deal with a contentious woman.
a. The argument can be over in your mind—but it keeps dripping in her mind.
b. Her contentions are going to come whenever she wants—like the wind that you also have no control over.
c. Her contentions are almost impossible to handle—like trying to pick up and hold a handful of oil.
d. Her contentions cannot be hidden—like the smell of scented oil on the hand.
6. Though no particular advice is stated in the proverb, it is obvious.
a. For the woman: Let arguments die out. Bury them. Don’t keep them going endlessly. It does not help; it only hurts.
b. For the man: As with all of these illustrations, there is virtually nothing you can do to restrain the contention. The best advice is patience: wait it out. The storm will pass.
• Eventually the saturated sod roof will dry up.
• Eventually the wind will die down.
• Eventually the scent of the oil will diminish.
• Eventually you will quit trying to pick up oil in your hand.
c. Patience is the answer. The best response is to patiently wait.
d. Prov. 15:18 – “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”