Proverbs 20:6
A Faithful Man
6a Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness:
1. Goodness: This is a very broad and generic term that has lots of various shades of meaning (like good in English).
a. Strong’s: Goodness; kindness; faithfulness.
b. Dictionary of Bible Languages: Loyal love; unfailing kindness; devotion; favor.
c. Zodhiates: Kindness, lovingkindness, mercy, goodness, faithfulness, love, acts of kindness.
d. Theological Workbook of the Old Testament: Steadfast love; loyalty.
e. It is used of God often (as in Psalm 136:1) = “O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.”
2. This quality is to be desired.
a. Proverb 19:22 – “The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.” (Kindness = same term as goodness.)
b. This quality (when it is genuine) is what makes a person desirable.
c. Everybody likes a man who is kind, faithful, and good!
3. Solomon states that most men will PROCLAIM their own goodness.
a. Proclaim: To call out; announce; i.e., make a public calling out of information or an event; mention publicly.
b. Here Solomon tells us something that we all know already: most men like to let others know of their good qualities.
c. We all know that everybody LIKES a man who is kind and good. Thus, people have a tendency to proclaim their kindness and goodness to others.
d. This is human nature. If you want people to think well of you, then proclaim your goodness to them… for the desire of a man is his goodness.
e. Because we all know this, we like to proclaim it.
f. They like to proclaim their good deeds.
g. They like to proclaim how “good” they are in various skills: sports; music; career; speech; making friends; various talents; etc.
h. They like to proclaim their acts of kindness and mercy.
i. They like to proclaim their loyalty as a friend.
j. They like to proclaim their faithfulness to the Lord… how spiritual they are.
k. They like to proclaim their overall “goodness” in every area of life.
4. Solomon lets us know that it is human nature to proclaim our own goodness.
a. MOST men do it. (Most = a great abundance; multitudes.)
b. There are very few exceptions.
c. We have ALL done it. Perhaps some have done it more than others, but we’ve ALL done it… repeatedly.
d. Prov. 16:2 – All the ways of man are right in his own eyes… BUT the Lord often has a different view of the situation.
e. The second part of Prov. 10:6 states something similar, and then also adds the conjunction “but”.
1. Solomon does not dispute their claims to having done good things.
2. But he does dispute their overall “goodness.”
a. Even evil dictators would be able to accurately proclaim some good things they did.
b. After all, they built bridges; hospitals; helped their friends become rich; provided mansions for their friends and family; etc.
3. Anybody can put himself in a favorable light.
a. It’s not only the politician who is a master of spin. We ALL have developed that fine art. We learn to spin almost anything to make self look good.
b. Matt. 7:22-23 – These men put themselves in a favorable light before the Lord. But Christ was able to see through that favorable lighting… He saw the truth of the matter.
4. Solomon acknowledges in this proverb that ALL men are good at “spinning.”
a. But he wipes that all aside and gets to the truth: few men are truly faithful.
b. Solomon makes it clear that spin doesn’t matter. Truth does.
c. It doesn’t matter how rosy a picture a man paints of himself. The truth is usually a very different picture.
d. As a pastor who spends time counseling with folks, this proverb has been proven in practice repeatedly. (Try counseling two people who are fighting… one at a time!)
e. I never cease to be amazed at the inventiveness and skillful wordsmithing that some folks have developed in describing a situation (without actually lying) which paints them in the rosiest of colors! Then the other person in describing the very same scenario manages to make himself look good… kind… loyal… faithful.
f. This seems to be the thought Solomon is describing in this proverb.
5. Solomon suggests by his language here that men who proclaim their own goodness are not faithful to the truth!
a. We have a tendency to exaggerate our goodness…
b. We have a tendency to minimize our failures and faults.
c. As we proclaim our goodness, we have a tendency to leave out details that put us in a less than favorable light.
d. We may tell the truth, but not always the WHOLE truth.
e. We have a tendency to see ourselves through rose tinted glasses.
f. That slant is not being faithful to the truth… to reality.
g. We have serious blind spots when it comes to how we see self.
h. We easily see our good points and delight to point them… along with a little embellishment…
6. For this reason it is necessary to hear BOTH sides of a story before drawing any conclusions.
a. Prov. 18:17 – He that is first in his own cause SEEMETH just.
• When you hear one side of the story, that person always portrays himself as the good guy… and the other side as the bad guy.
• The first side of the story you hear usually sounds very convincing. He usually conveys an airtight argument.
• It sounds good UNTIL the other guy comes along and tells the other side of the story… details the first guy somehow overlooked… a slightly different chronology of events…
• And they use very different terms (he said vs. he yelled; he came vs. he snuck in; he came home at 9:00 vs. he came home in the darkness of night; I patted my son on the head vs. he hit his own son right on the head!)
b. Solomon reminds us that it is human nature to word things in such a way that makes self look good and the other guy look bad.
c. Solomon also laments, that very, very rarely is a person FAITHFUL with the facts… with the story… with the events…
d. Goodness, loyalty, and faithfulness are great qualities. But not everybody who claims to have them actually DOES have them.
e. This is especially true of those who brag and boast about their good qualities.
• Boasters do a lot of loud proclaiming, but there is usually very little substance behind the boasting.
• People who boast about their charity, kindness, piety and faithfulness rarely possess those qualities.
• Prov. 25:14 – We are usually very disappointed with the boasting of men. When they proclaim but don’t deliver, it is disappointing.
• The proof is in the pudding… the proof is in deeds, not words.
7. Those who are ACTUALLY good, kind, and faithful do NOT normally proclaim it. They do not boast about it.
a. That is because those good qualities are usually accompanied by another good quality: humility.
b. Matt. 6:1 – It is good to be good and to do good deeds. But it is not good to proclaim it. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for that.
c. Ps.1 2:1 – Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men.”
d. Men who SAY they are good and faithful are a dime a dozen.
e. But men who are TRULY good and faithful are hard to come by. It is a rare breed.
f. Reality lies not in the proclaiming (in saying) but in DOING.
8. This little nugget of truth has good application for us all.
a. Where do WE stand?
b. How do others see us?
c. Is there a disconnect between our words and our actions?
d. Do we talk a good talk but fail to walk the walk?
e. Are we loyal and faithful in our responsibilities: in our marriage, as parents, at work, in the local church?
f. It is one thing to be good, loyal, and faithful in WORD. It is quite another thing to be good, loyal, and faithful in DEED.
g. Reality is what counts.