Proverbs 16:28
Sowing Strife and Separating Friends
This section in Proverbs speaks about various kinds of troublemakers to watch out for.
• Vs. 27 – one who digs up evil
• Vs. 28 – one who sows strife and gossips
• Vs. 29 – a violent man
• Vs. 30 – one who facilitates evil
A. Words Defined:
1. Froward: perverse; deviant; morally crooked.
a. It is used of a generation of Israelites who deviated from and distorted the Lord’s ways, turning from Him (Deut. 32:20).
2. Soweth:
a. To send out; to let loose; to thrust forth; to release; cast away; sow…
b. This word is translated in MANY different ways depending upon the context.
c. The idea here is not so much that he PLANTS strife… but that he spreads it… he scatters it… he lets it loose wherever he goes.
B. The Man Who Sows Strife
1. Solomon tells us that there is a certain kind of person who seems to delight in making trouble between people… stirring up controversy and strife… contention… arguments… quarrels…
a. He incites trouble… provokes debates and controversy.
b. The apostle Paul knew how to do this and he did so on one occasion… for a good purpose.
c. Acts 23:6-7 – Paul turned this crowd against each other. (They had been united against him.)
• Actually, this was quite clever of Paul.
• They were angry hypocritical men who had their arrows all pointed at Paul.
• Paul was able (with one carefully worded sentence) to turn the tables… and instead of aiming their arrows at him, they aimed their arrows at each other.
• Do you see the POWER of words?
• Do you see how EASY it is to turn people against each other?
d. Solomon tells us that there are men who use this tactic for evil purposes all the time.
e. Only instead turning enemies against enemies, they turn friend against friend.
2. The person Solomon describes is like a big speedboat zipping across a calm lake.
a. The water might be peaceful, tranquil, and calm… smooth like a mirror.
b. Until the loud speed boat buzzes through. When the big speedboat passes through those waters… even though only for a short time, it leaves a large ripples in its wake…
c. The boat is long gone, but the ripples continue… to travel and interrupt the stillness and serenity of the lake far BEYOND the immediate path of the boat.
d. It can take quite a while for the lake to calm down and become still and smooth once again after the boat is gone.
e. The person Solomon is speaking about does the same with a group of people.
f. Things may be going well in the office… in the home… in a group of friends… in a church… at a school. Peaceful and calm like the lake.
g. Then when the trouble maker comes by… he stirs up waves of controversy and agitates the atmosphere… and leaves trouble in his wake…
h. And long after he is gone, the ripple effect of the controversy he stirred up continues…
i. And the trouble he stirs up can travel far beyond the ears of those who heard him speak… things get repeated… and the ripples can go on an on…
3. He is a PERVERSE man. (That’s what forward means)
a. This is not normal behavior. It is crooked, twisted and perverse.
b. Prov. 6:14 – this perversity and forwardness is in his heart.
• He delights in such behavior. And he seeks continually to devise mischief among people and cause trouble.
• It is his nature. We have been warned.
4. He is often a man of great HATRED in his heart.
a. Prov. 10:12 – it is a heart full of hatred that stirs up trouble among friends.
b. It may be that this perversity and hatred is due to the fact that he doesn’t have any friends (I wonder why!).
c. Therefore he hates to see other people have friends… out of hatred he tries to break up those friendships.
d. And he has lots of tricks in his bag to do so.
5. He is often a LIAR… a false witness.
a. Prov. 6:19 – sometimes this perverse man sows discord and strife among friends by spreading lies… and God hates it!
b. He just passes through and happens to mention a few things about so and so…
c. What he says may be an outright lie… or an embellishment… or stretching the truth… just to make so and so look bad… or to get Tom angry at Dick…
d. But the words he says stirs up trouble… gets repeated… and embellished again… and before too long, Tom and Dick aren’t talking to each other.
6. It is an ANGRY man that stirs up such strife among friends.
a. Prov. 15:18 – the man who stirs up strife is often angry.
b. Sometimes he is angry because he doesn’t have friends… he’s not in the “in” crowd.
c. It may be that he is angry because he didn’t get his own way… and tries to make trouble for others. Misery loves company.
d. Maybe he was slighted… or left out… or insulted… and instead of letting it roll off his back, he lashes out in anger… and tries to stir up strife among friends.
e. It may be that he is angry because he is not as popular as others… and since he can’t be the head man in that gang of friends, he seeks to disrupt the group of friends… any way he can.
7. Prov. 28:25 – it is selfish PRIDE that is behind his behavior…
a. If he can’t be the top dog on campus, then he will try to destroy friendships…
b. Often this type of person really desires to be admired… desires to be mister popularity…
c. And because he can’t achieve it… because he can’t be #1, he takes it out on others… and seeks to disrupt friendships.
d. Solomon says that pride is what motivates this person.
1. Here Solomon builds on the first part of the proverb.
a. The particular KIND of trouble maker is a whisperer who separates chief friends.
2. Whisperer: a gossiper, a slanderer.
a. It depicts a person who harms others by attacking them verbally falsely.
b. Prov. 16:27 – he digs up dirt about people… and then his lips are burning in zeal to tell others about the dirt he discovered!
3. Prov. 11:13 – A friend might know some “secrets” about you (some dirt)… but because he is a friend, he conceals them. But the talebearer… the whispering gossiper tells all. He reveals them.
a. This kind of gossip and whispering often ruins friendships.
b. This is not the kind of person you want as a friend!
c. Solomon is WARNING us. Stay away from such people. They are trouble!
4. This person whispers things that will hurt others, creating wounds that take a long time to heal. (Prov. 26:22)
a. Gossiping can really HURT the person gossiped about.
b. That is what this perverse person is TRYING to do. That’s his goal. That’s his aim.
c. He gets his jollies from hurting other people… and ruining friendships.
d. And on and on the hurting and strife go… until friendships are ruined.
5. This man keeps on whispering and keeps on stirring up strife (Prov. 26:20-21). It will continue as long as he is around! Strife ceases when the whisperer stops whispering!
a. AVOID that kind of person.
b. When you get rid of him, the trouble and strife ceases… because he was the one who stirred it all up!
c. This person is like the one who keeps adding wood to the fire. As long as he is there adding wood, the fires will continue to blaze. But once you STOP adding fuel to the fire… those fires eventually die out.
d. If we could get rid of all the speed boats, we would have nice, quiet, serene, tranquil lakes too!
e. If you want the strife to cease… avoid the trouble-maker!
f. This is true in the local church too. Some people come into a local church and do nothing but complain, stir up trouble and controversy… and when they are gone: peace rules once again!
g. It may be painful to see such a brother go… but if he refuses to repent… the Body is far better off without him!
h. And maybe even those broken friendships will begin to heal!
6. A whisperer separates chief friends.
a. I have seen this in my life. Maybe you have too.
b. It is such a common occurrence in life. Solomon chose to repeat this in Prov. 17:9.
c. The one who goes about repeating matters… and often embellishing… gossiping… spreading rumors… separates friends… turns friend against friend.
d. But Solomon also gives us a solution to this ongoing problem among friends: LOVE covers a transgression!
e. If a trouble maker tries to stir up controversy among your friends, don’t AID him by spreading the gossip further!
f. Love covers it up… love buries it…
g. And even if the gossip is about you, love STILL is able to cover it up… bury it… don’t dwell on it… ignore it.
h. Remember, the trouble makers who spread such rumors are perverse; angry; proud; hateful liars. They often embellish stories… twist statements and quote you out of context.
i. Remember that, when you HEAR gossip. Things aren’t always as they seem when you hear one side of the story… especially when it comes from this kind of person.
j. Love buries it.