Proverbs 25:28
A Lack of Self Control
1. This proverb speaks of the danger of lacking self-control.
2. To demonstrate the pitiful condition of such a man (or woman), Solomon uses the illustration of a broken down city with no walls.
28a He that hath no rule over his own spirit…
1. Solomon is describing a certain character flaw in this proverb: a lack of self-control.
2. He describes that flaw as a man who has “no rule over his spirit.”
3. The word spirit is used in a general sense here.
a. Spirit:
• Breath; wind; animation.
• Temper; disposition; impulse; seat of emotions; courage.
• Sometimes used of the mind.
• Sometimes it is used of the physical life of a person. (Ps. 104:29)
• Often used in general of the inner life of a person; the inner man.
b. Today we use the word spirit in many similar senses.
• We say a lively person has “spirit.”
• We talk of team spirit… their energy, vitality, etc.
• We speak of a man’s spirit as his attitude.
• A person may have a jealous spirit… a violent spirit… a humble spirit… etc.
c. In our proverb, Solomon is using the term to speak of a man’s inner life… his inward disposition… his inward attitude… his thought life and inner emotions; in short, the person—the inner man.
4. Solomon is describing a man who has NO RULE over his inner thoughts and emotions.
a. Rule: Control; restraint.
b. Solomon is clearly speaking of a person who does not have self control.
c. He cannot (or will not) restrain his inner spirit… his inner thoughts and emotions.
d. The character flaw of having no control over one’s inner emotions has countless ramifications and will prove to be life dominating.
e. This man is a SLAVE to his feelings and emotions.
f. He is a slave to lust; a slave to anger; a slave to cursing; a slave to an uncontrolled tongue.
g. He has countless evil masters, and the Bible speaks of several of them.
h. Thus, to the man with no self-control (cannot rule his own spirit), a temptation is as good as a sin. He has no power or strength against it.
i. He is forced to surrender to the first impulse of passion.
5. Anger
a. Proverbs 14:17 – This is the man who is “soon angry.”
b. He flies off the handle easily and quickly. He is short tempered—short fused.
c. The tiniest things irritate him and because he has no self-control, the smallest irritation is manifested outwardly.
d. He has no control over his anger.
e. He probably yells and screams a lot too.
f. Prov. 14:29 – The one who is “soon angry” is the opposite of the man who is slow to wrath. Instead of being slow to wrath, he that is hasty in the outward display of his anger!
6. The Tongue
a. Jas. 1:26 – James speaks of a man who lacks self-control (bridle) over his tongue.
b. This man not only lacks self-control over his tongue, but also is deceived. He THINKS that all is fine spiritually—when it is not.
c. Jas. 3:2 – James implies here that if a person could control their tongue, then he/she could control their whole body, namely, any other impulse. That is because they have self-control—and that quality overflows into other areas of life as well.
d. Jas.3:8 – The problem is that no man is able to completely control the tongue. We all offend in that way.
e. It is perhaps the most common area where we need to exhibit control over our spirit… self-control.
7. Sexual desire
a. I Cor. 7:9 – “If they cannot contain” (if they lack self control sexually) then they should get married.
b. Paul speaks of those who have no control over their spirit in the sexual realm. He too is like a broken down city.
c. Having no control over one’s spirit spills into every realm of life.
d. This is an exceedingly dangerous area in which to lack self-control.
e. The desire is normal and natural; but having no control over it is sinful.
f. Hence, God’s cure for that desire is for it to be channeled honorably through marriage.
g. The marriage bed is undefiled (Heb. 13:4) but those who have no control over their spirits sexually, (whoremongerers and adulterers) “God will judge.”
8. While sex, anger, and the use of the tongue may be the most common and frequent areas in which most men lack self control, there are other areas as well. Those are perhaps the most explosive areas.
a. It could also apply to jealousy, pride, bitterness, resentment, even in over eating.
b. We need self-control (temperance) in order to keep on running the race. Thus, a lack of self-control can be manifested in a lack of diligence in reading God’s Word; praying; witnessing; slacking off in our spiritual life in general.
c. This is a serious issue that Solomon raises and one that we all struggle with to one degree or another.
d. Individuals may lack self control in different areas of life, but we all lack self-control from time to time.
e. We all deal with this issue and will until the Lord returns.
1. In the second part of the proverb in English Solomon illustrates this man as a broken down city without walls.
a. The illustration puts a picture in our mind’s eye to contemplate.
b. The illustration also adds another layer of meaning to the concept of self-control.
2. A man without self control is like a city without walls.
a. In Solomon’s day, city walls spoke of a city’s main layer of security.
b. Cities built walls around them to keep out invading armies.
c. This might not be as meaningful to us today as it was in ancient times.
d. Today planes can fly over cities and drop bombs. Walls are more decorative for us today.
e. But in ancient times, before planes, walls were the major obstacle to an invading army. The taller and wider they were, the better!
f. Cities like Babylon had a double wall around the city and their walls were wide enough for chariots to ride upon. That gave the Babylonians a sense of safety and security.
g. Thus, a city without walls was not safe. They were wide open to attacks from their enemies.
h. Their city walls served as a layer of protection; but without walls they were vulnerable. They were unprotected. They were in a weakened condition. They were defenseless and hopelessly exposed to invaders. The enemies could march right in with nothing to stop them. And the enemy can march right in from any direction they want. There are no walls!
i. The application to a man with no self-control is obvious:
• He is mercilessly exposed to the attacks of our enemies: the world, the flesh, and the devil.
• He is unprotected and defenseless. Self-control provides a layer of protection for the believer that this man does not have.
• The man with no self-control is weak and vulnerable; he is easily defeated by his own uncontrolled desires: anger, lust, bitterness, pride, outbursts of the tongue.
• The man is defenseless against the attacks of his own impulses and lusts.
• The enemy can march right in, unhindered. And with no walls, the enemy can march in from any direction. The application is that a man who lacks self-control can be attacked not just from one front (anger for example), but from ANY front.
• If he lacks self-control over anger, he also lacks self-control over his tongue—and in many other areas as well.
• The man who lacks rule over his spirit doesn’t merely have a problem from one direction, but from EVERY direction.
• It speaks of the kind of person he is: lacking self-control he is vulnerable in every way.
• Prov. 16:32 – The person who DOES have control over his impulses and rules his spirit (including anger) has an inner strength greater than his enemies. He is better than the mighty man who conquers cities!
• It is a far greater strength to have inward power than outward power.
3. A man without self-control is like a broken down city.
a. A broken down city is a city that was invaded, defeated, and destroyed from within.
b. Again, the application is obvious.
c. The man who lacks self-control can also expect to be defeated spiritually.
• Because he has no control over passions, anger can lead to murder; lust leads to adultery.
• Because of this one character flaw, the enemy has an open door to march in any time and in any way he wants.
• And the end result will be utter ruin for that man.
d. There are too many enemies—coming from too many directions. And they come when least expected.
• Such attacks will wear any man down and leave him defeated eventually… that is UNLESS he regains self-control.
• Trying to defeat each and every enemy is a losing battle.
iii. Once they are within city limits (in our mind and heart) they are going to win. They are stronger than we are and able to wait us out.
e. The answer is not to attempt to defeat all of the invading enemies individually, but rather, to build city walls (i.e. have self-control).
• The answer is to become a person who DOES have control of his spirit.
• Solomon simply points out the problem; he does not offer a solution to the problem… because the Law (under which he lived) did not have the solution we know today.
f. Gal. 5:22-23 – The fruit of the Spirit is “temperance” – or self-control.
• A life yielded and surrendered to God will be fortified and strong… self-controlled… like a city with massive walls over which no enemy can enter.
• Instead of attempting the impossible—attempting to put out a thousand fires of anger, lust, pride, etc., God’s answer is to be FILLED (controlled by) the Spirit… and thus HE will work in us and produce the fruit of the Spirit—temperance.
• Temperance, the fruit of the Spirit serves as a city wall over which no enemy can scale.
• The person who dwells there (by walking in the Spirit day by day) is safe and secure. The one who walks in the Spirit will NOT fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
• God’s Holy Spirit enables the believer to have control over his spirit such that he is able to take offence, insult, verbal abuse, without blowing up and without striking back.