1. Chasten defined:

a. Discipline; instruct; admonish.

b. Teach; correct; punish to improve behavior.

c. instruct, i.e., give formal and informal instruction, often with a focus on warning of consequences for bad behavior.

2. Note that this proverb comes in the form of a COMMAND.

a. That is not the usual way for proverbs.

b. Normally the proverbs are simple statements of facts.

c. But here Solomon gives a command to parents to chasten.

3. God chastened His people Israel. And if they did not hearken, He chastened them seven times harder. (Lev. 26:18, 23)

a. Everyone has their breaking point.

b. Some children require MORE chastening and punishment than others…

c. Some children instantly melt with just a look. They are all different.

d. Some children are more stubborn than others and may not respond to the initial chastening.

e. But no matter HOW stubborn a child may be, increasing the punishing will eventually bring them to their “breaking point.”

4. Prov. 3:11-12 – Don’t despise chastening; don’t grow weary of it.

a. This is the advice Solomon gives to his son AS God chastens him.

b. He reminds him that chastening is an expression of God’s love.

c. It OUGHT to be an expression of parental love too.

d. But kids need to be challenged:
• Don’t despise it. It is easy for a child to learn to HATE chastening or discipline of any sort.
• If it is administered out of anger and the child sees no PURPOSE in it, he would naturally hate it.
• But if he genuinely perceives that his father is chastening him out of love… out of a desire to see his son improve his behavior for his own good and the glory of God—THEN he is less likely to hate it.
• Prov. 1:7 – FOOLS despise instruction… they despise being chastened… being told what to do… that FOLLY needs to be driven out of them while they are young.

e. Prov. 15:32 – The one who despises instruction (same word = chastening) despises his own soul. A parent ought to communicate to the child that discipline is GOOD for the child.

5. Prov. 22:15 – Discipline and chastening are to be administered by means of the ROD.

a. This is a taboo subject in our generation—but certainly NOT in the Bible.

b. We see odd extremes in our generation.
• On the one hand, we see our society looking DOWN upon spanking children—for the first time in the history of Western Civilization.
• And on the other hand, we see an increase in the cases of real child abuse… horrible abuse.

c. The society that deems spanking to be immoral ends up with MORE cases of child abuse.
• Could it be that a lack of godly discipline is behind it all?
• Could it be that the cases of REAL child abuse are aggravated by the fact that parents have NOT disciplined their children properly, and as a result, they end up with “out of control” kids who push them to their breaking point and they end up beating and harming their own children out of frustration?
• Of course, this isn’t the ONLY cause of child abuse, but it sure seems to be one of factors involved in the increase.
• And each case of child abuse seems to fuel the flames of those who seek to eliminate TRUE Bible based discipline.
• When that is eliminated altogether, God help us!

6. Prov. 13:24 – Don’t spare… and do it “betimes” (early or often)

a. Betimes: to seek early… (early in life).
• Deal with the problem early—RIGHT AWAY.
• Especially with small children… they forget. Spanking them on Tuesday for what they did on Monday is not a good idea. The sooner the better.
• And deal with those issues right away lest they become ROOTED… and become hardened into a habit.

b. Spare: to hold back; to refrain; withhold; to keep from doing something.
• It is used in Proverbs of “refraining” our tongues.
• Here Solomon commands parents NOT to spare using the rod.

c. Hate: to despise; to dislike; to loathe;
• This is a strong term.
• The parent who refrains from disciplining their son THINKS that he is loving his son. (Emotional kind of love)
• But that love is called “hate” by God—because it refuses to do that which is BEST for the child.
• But this sets up for us a major problem with discipline: the son hates to receive it… and the parent hates to administer it.
• But it HAS to be done. Avoiding it is not the answer.
• Replacing it with “time outs” is not the answer. A time out is good on occasion and in certain situations.
• But there are situations where the ROD is needed. Nothing less will suffice.
• It is quite selfish and self centered for a parent to withhold the rod from a son because it hurts the parent.
• By doing so, the parent is in fact saying, “Son, I know you need to be disciplined. I know it is best for you. I know that God wants me to. I know it will be used of the Lord to help you develop into the kind of person God can use. However, because I don’t want to inflict emotional pain on myself, I am going to forgo this spanking. I don’t want to hurt myself.”
• Now no parent would ever say that, but perhaps parents ought to THINK about what their actions really are saying.

7. Prov. 22:15 – Foolishness is BOUND in the heart of a child, but the rod of reproof will DRIVE it from them.

a. The Bible SAYS that if we use the rod at appropriate times and in appropriate situations, it WORKS.

b. This is God’s method for driving folly from the heart of a child.

c. Here God has told us what the problem is (folly bound in the heart); what the method of dealing with it is (rod); and the results will be (it drives it from him).

d. Hate spares the rod; love uses it. Choose love!

8. Prov. 23:13-14 – another command to parents-

a. Don’t withhold the rod.

b. Don’t be afraid to beat him with a rod.
• Be careful about this expression.
• It is not a good idea to use this kind of language today.
• It connoted something very different when the KJV was written than it connotes today.

c. Beat: physically strike (Cf. II Kings 11:12 – clapping hands)
• It simply means to strike.
• And he is to be struck with a rod—a switch from a tree, etc. NOT a baseball bat or anything that would harm him physically.
• The idea is to make the spanking STING—not injure or damage the child.
• And Solomon notes that he will live through it.
• His crying is designed by him to cause you to stop… to spare him. “I promise I’ll never do it again!” (Don’t spare; he’s trying to manipulate you.)
• He will SAY that you are killing him… but you know you’re not.
• Don’t let your EMOTIONS or the arguments of a four year old convince you to stop doing what God tells you TO do.
• Matthew Henry wrote: “It is better that he should cry under thy rod than under the sword of the magistrate, or, which is more fearful, that of divine vengeance.”

d. Hell: Sheol; the place of the dead.
• It does not imply that he will be saved from eternal condemnation.
• It means that he may well be spared from a premature death. (Keep him away from drugs; alcohol; racing in his car; etc.)
• Prov. 10:27 – Wicked behavior, unchecked has a built in consequence of early death. That is often prevented by disciplining a child early.
• Solomon also may have had the death penalty of the Mosaic Law in mind here.
• Either way—good child training often prevents that from occurring… not always, but more often than not.

9. While there is hope…

a. Hope: expectation; a ground for hope; a confidence in regard to a good and beneficial future.

b. Prov. 11:23 – Hope and desire are used as synonyms.

c. There is hope while the child is YOUNG. That’s the time to point him in the right direction, spiritually.

d. Even apart from the spiritual realm, this principle is true. Unsaved parents who get a hold of a child’s heart when he is young can expect him to turn out much better than the parent who does NOT discipline his son.

e. It is much easier to bend an oak tree and directs its growth when it is a little sapling, than to wait until it is grown and its trunk is firmly set.

f. The idea behind this exhortation to parents is, “Don’t quit disciplining. Don’t ever lose hope. Keep it up. Don’t ever cave in and say, ‘It’s no use. It’s hopeless.’” Don’t ever say, “There’s nothing more I can do.” If he’s still breathing, there’s hope!

10. Deut. 8:5 – as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord chastens us.

a. Here Moses writes of the experience of the children of Israel in the wilderness.

b. The nation was young.

c. God wanted them to remember that HE would chasten them just like a father disciplines his son—for their own good!

d. Thus, we too should take heed to Solomon’s warning in the spiritual realm. God disciplines us too… age (maturity) appropriate discipline too.

e. God knows where we ought to be spiritually, and like a Father, He disciplines us to keep us in line… and growing… for our own good.

f. Don’t despise God’s chastening. He is our Father who is training us. He is instructing us.

g. In fact, chastening is not always because we did something bad. It may be like preventative maintenance.

h. God chastened Paul with a thorn in his flesh, NOT because Paul had sinned, but to PREVENT Paul from sinning… to prevent him from falling into pride. It was GOOD for Paul.

i. Chastening is good for us too… even though as we endure it, it can be quite painful.