Proverbs 19:6-7
Sad Observation about Friends
1. This proverb is quite similar to verse 4, where Solomon also speaks about the relationship between wealth and friends.
2. The main thrust of vs. 6-7 is the same as verse 4, but with a slightly different approach to the subject.
a. Intreat:
• to be weak or sick; to show oneself to be weak or sick; even to feign oneself to be sick or weak…
• It is sometimes used of entreating… beseeching… seeking favor (as here).
• The ideas may be connected in the sense of a weak man coming to another to seek for mercy… by laying his griefs, weakness, or sickness open—and saying, “help!”
b. Prince:
• Strong’s: inclined; willing; noble; generous.
• Dict. of Bib. Lang.: leader, ruler, official, prince, i.e., one who is of great or noble status.
• Zodhiates: willing, generous, noble; as a noun, those of noble birth. The word often denotes an attitude of heart which consents or agrees (often readily and cheerfully) to a course of action.
• Generally speaking, the term describes a man in a high position, noble status, who is also noble and generous…
• He may be a prince or a noble in rank, but the emphasis seems to be on princely or noble behavior… especially as being generous to others.
c. Favour: face; in the presence of…
• Solomon states that many people like to come to such a wealthy, generous person… to stand in his presence… before his face…
• But they do so to curry his favor…
• The implication is that it is done to flatter… without any sincerity at all.
• His case is laid out in the presence of or in the face of… before another…
• He lays out his plea before the prince… perhaps with great embellishment…
• BECAUSE he wants to GET something from this generous man of high rank or social status.
d. Many: This is a very frequent occurrence.
• Many people do it… all the time.
• As a generous King, Solomon knew this all too well.
• He had discernment. He seemed to be able to see right through people.
• He recognized that MANY of the sad cases that came before his face for help… MANY of those who laid out their weakness and need before him were insincere phonies…
• They were out to take advantage of his generosity.
• MANY people did this… and he knew it.
e. Of course, there is great advantage in being a friend to the king… or a generous noble man.
• He has power and clout.
• He can do many things for you.
• He can cut some good business deals for you.
• He can give you an advantage over the competition.
• He can bring you up to the front of the line.
• He can grant you waivers… privileges…
• He can also take out vengeance on your enemies…
• Solomon was well aware of the fact that MANY people who came seeking his favor doing so with selfish intentions… sometimes even evil intentions…
• MANY were out to take advantage of his generosity.
• They would present themselves as weak, downtrodden, underprivileged, mistreated, unfairly punished, etc… in hopes that Solomon would be so moved by their story that he would bestow some great act of kindness on them—cash preferably!
f. MANY intreat the favor of a prince.
a. Giveth gifts:
• Strong’s: gifts; offerings; presents.
• Dictionary of Biblical Languages: an object given freely to another as a token of relationship and good will.
• This speaks of a man who is inclined to give things away… inclined to give gifts to others…
• Some men are naturally generous… and you don’t have to be rich or of noble birth to be generous.
• Many average Joes are generous and often give away things to others in need.
b. There is great advantage in being a friend of any generous person who is free with his money.
• There would be a great advantage to being a friend to the local butcher or baker… or to the man who ran the corner store… or the local farmer (around harvest time…)
• You could bring your sob stories to them… let them know how poor your family is… how hungry your kids are… and how nice it would be if someone would help!
• Evidently Solomon observed this as well.
• He knew that many people came to the wealthy nobles to take advantage of them.
• But he also observed that those kinds of people took advantage of ANYONE who was generous with what they had—whether they had much or little.
• Hard luck stories were not presented only to princes and kings.
c. Solomon has really exposed an ugly side of human nature… that human beings take advantage of one another.
• This proverb does not say anything about the generous man being naïve or foolish with his goods.
• Rather, the emphasis is on the insincerity and self greed of those who seek to take advantage of the kindness of others.
• I have even seen this in Christian circles.
» Believers trying to get goods or services from another brother in Christ… just because he is a brother…
» Sometimes believers seek after other believers who make their living fixing cars, remodeling houses, repairing computers, or some other craft… to get them to do work for them for free… or for next to nothing… just because they are brethren.
• And many believers are generous and help that brother… only to discover that others come to him trying to take advantage of his generosity…
This is a completely self centered kind of friendship.
a. Being a friend for what you can GET from the relationship is no friendship at all.
b. This is the opposite of the Biblical concept of love.
c. It is a sad and ugly side of human nature.
d. The saddest thing is that MANY do it! It is very common.
e. As believers, we should not take advantage of others… especially of the brethren.
f. Being a friend of generous people for selfish advantage is not friendship at all.
g. Of course we don’t want to discourage generosity. That is a good thing.
h. But it is not something that we should SEEK after… or even expect… and it certainly ought not to be the basis for a friendship!
Here Solomon speaks of the flip side of that same selfish attitude.
a. Brethren: relatives…
b. MANY people—and often total strangers—love to be around a generous person, but even the RELATIVES of a poor man want nothing to do with him.
c. This is pretty sad indictment of human nature… even blood relatives often “hate” a poor man.
d. HATE might be a bit too strong a term here.
• It sometimes speaks of loving to a lesser degree
» Jacob loved Rachel and hated Leah…
» In other words, he loved Leah to a lesser degree…
» By comparison, it was like hatred… but did not imply a genuine HATRED for her.
• The word can also mean shunned; unloved; disliked;
• It may simply imply that poor relatives are shunned… avoided… not invited to all the family gatherings… they dislike being in his presence…
• They consider him to be a nuisance… or an embarrassment because he is not successful like they are. They consider him to be a blemish on their family name.
e. It is the same sort of selfishness that is at the root of this evil attitude too.
a. If his blood relatives shun him, how much more will his friends and acquaintances shun him!?
b. Prov. 14:20 – the poor is hated of his own neighbor.
c. The prodigal son had all kinds of friends as long as he was blowing his inheritance on fast living.
• But when his inheritance was gone—so were his friends.
• He ended up eating with the pigs… and his “so called friends” were then mysteriously absent.
a. The poor man pursues them… he seeks to be their friend… but they still go far from him.
b. And, there is nothing the poor man can do to WIN them as his friends.
c. People who USE other people for their own advantage cannot be won with words.
d. They are not looking for friendship.
e. They demand money or favors… something more tangible than words.
f. Here we have yet another good reason to make God our FRIEND… and to seek His favor… and not to put confidence in man.