Proverbs 16:32

The Value of Self Control

32a He that is slow to anger–And he that ruleth his spirit

1. This is one of MANY “better than” proverbs.

a. Just in this chapter alone we have seen several: 16:8, 16, 19, 32

b. Consider the parallel in this verse:
• Slow to anger = rules his spirit
• The mighty = he that takes a city

2. Slow to Anger…

a. Slow Defined:
• Strong’s: slow; patient.
• Zodhiates: drawn out; long.

b. Used in:
• Ex. 34:6 – “longsuffering”—a characteristic of God; it is used 4X of God’s longsuffering
• Every other time it occurs it is in the expression: slow to wrath or slow to anger.
• One other occurrence: it is used to describe the long wings of an eagle.
• Nahum 1:3 – “the Lord is slow to anger.” (Same words.)

c. With respect to anger it speaks of being long-fused before one blows up…
• Patient with respect to anger…
• Not easily or quickly angered… but SLOW to anger…
• It refers to patience… but not the kind of patience needed when waiting for a bus; but the kind of patience needed when someone insults you… or cuts you off in traffic… or when someone yells at you.
• The issue really has to do with SELF CONTROL… with respect to anger.

d. James 1:19 – we are COMMANDED to be slow to anger!
• We like to excuse our anger and call it “righteous indignation.”
• There is such a thing… however, it is always CONTROLLED anger! Hence, it is patient in anger… not hasty.
• If we are NOT slow to anger, it is SIN. Blowing up is sin.
• Even if we have good cause for anger, if it is hasty and we blow up, it is disobedience.
• . Everybody gets angry. And there are two kinds of people who get angry: those who get angry slowly and those who get angry hastily.

3. The value of being SLOW to anger

a. Prov. 14:17 – he deals foolishly.
• “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.”
• This man is the opposite of the man who is SLOW to anger. He is HASTY to anger.
• He blows up, and then he has to live with the consequences of his folly!
• This is the type of sin that has its judgment built right in!
• Being SOON angry = defined:
» Weak, few, hasty… impatient… (opposite of being SLOW to anger; this is hasty to anger).
» It means literally short of something: namely, of might, strength.
» Hence, it refers to someone who is short of internal strength when it comes to dealing with anger.
» Thus, the anger CONTROLS him… and he has no internal restraint against it.
» It just comes out!
• He is short tempered… a hot head… flies off the handle… short fused… easily irritated…
• We have ALL been there at times (too many times), but Solomon states here that some folks are more prone to this than others…
• Solomon speaks of this TYPE of man in this verse.

b. This impatient hot head deals foolishly:
• He does and says things that he regrets later…
• But it’s too late then. The damage is done.

c. The proverb progresses by adding another level to this kind of sin: the man who is soon angry is a man of wicked devices.
• AND people HATE him for it!
• You can deal with a person blowing up on occasion… from time to time…
• Love covers a multitude of sin. It is something that needs to be overlooked… grace extended.
• But when it is a HABIT… everyday… without ceasing, it is hard to deal with.
• Such people LOSE FRIENDS fast!
• When this characterizes either a husband or a wife, it is very hard to keep that marriage together.
• This kind of uncontrolled anger gets OLD in a hurry… and is very hard to live with day in and day out.

d. This poor person is to be pitied (he/she) is continually blowing up and having to live with the consequences of their folly… AND they are constantly making enemies…

e. Prov. 14:29 – The man who is SLOW to anger is of great understanding.
• In other words, this is a form of wisdom.
• It is folly to be hasty to anger… it demonstrates great understanding to be SLOW to anger.
• What does this man understand?
» Prov. 27:3 – That you can get HURT because of anger!
» By lifting up a heavy rock, you are taking on a burden. It might throw out your back and cause pain to linger for months to come!
» Anger is like that! It causes a lot of pain that lingers…
» Words of anger are like swords. You can stab someone with the sword of your words in an outburst of anger… and then apologize.
» BUT—the pain lingers. Healing takes time… wounds don’t heal instantly when the apology comes.
• The man who is slow to anger understands how DANGEROUS anger is…
» and how painful outbursts of anger can be…
» and how much damage can be done in one moment…
» and how long it takes to heal.
» Thus, before he blows up… he pauses to consider the consequences.
» Slowing it down gives us time to think it through. And thinking is always a good idea!
» The man who is slow to anger is of GREAT understanding!

f. Prov. 12:16 – fools let their wrath be known right away.
• Everybody gets angry. But different kinds of people deal with it differently.
» Wise men cover it up. The wise man recognizes that uncontrolled anger is SHAMEFUL. He learns to HATE it…
• Fools blurt it all out.. and thus make it known. He does not hate it enough to deal with it. He does not see how shameful his anger is (the things he says and does when angry!)

4. “He that ruleth his spirit”.

a. This is another way of saying “he that is slow to anger”

b. The two sides of this proverb are equal.

c. This teaches us something about anger: it is a matter of RULING one’s spirit… one’s inner man.

d. Prov. 19:19 – If one does NOT deal with anger… it gets easier and easier to blow up. A habit of life is developed. And you will need rescuing ad infinitum!

e. The New Testament tells us that this is IMPOSSIBLE in our own strength.
• We are powerless before anger.
• Our sin nature ENSLAVES us and has DOMINION over us… when we attempt to rule our own spirit.
• Paul tried ruling his own spirit and was a miserable failure.
• Rom. 7:14 – the law said, “Be slow to anger.” Paul agreed that it was the right thing to do and tried and failed! Repeatedly! He discovered that he was carnal… he had a fleshly nature too powerful for him to overcome.
• Rom. 7:15 – I DO get angry, but I don’t allow it. I know it is wrong. And what I want to do (be slow to anger) that do I not! But what I hate (getting angry), that’s what I seem to always end up doing!
• Rom. 7:16 – I agree with the law that it is wrong and sinful…
• Rom. 7:17 – It is not the new Paul in Christ… but it is my sin nature within!
• Rom. 7:22-23 – I delight in the law… BUT I am continually overpowered by sins like ANGER…
• Rom. 7:24 – Crying out to God for strength was his victory! Acknowledging his absolute impotence… and crying out to God for mercy… to rely upon Him entirely.
• This is the ONLY way of victory over anger. FAITH is the victory.

f. We need to acknowledge that we CANNOT rule our spirit. It requires the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit!
• Only when we acknowledge our weakness are we strong spiritually.
• That’s all God wants from us: acknowledgement—in other words, BELIEVING what He has already said about us… our flesh dwells no good thing… and believing involves trusting in Him… relying upon Him and His power.
• This kind of faith involves a close heart relationship to the Lord… an abiding relationship… ongoing communion with Him throughout the day… conscience of His indwelling presence at all times… trusting in His indwelling power at all times…
• There is no quick gimmick to overcoming anger. There is no gum you can chew like the gum that helps you quit smoking. Endless counseling sessions won’t cure it. Don’t bother trying a hypnotist. The answer is found in Romans 6-8!

32b Better than the mighty–Better than he that taketh  city.

1. Solomon states that conquering oneself is BETTER than conquering a city!

a. The person with inner strength enough to have victory over the sin nature demonstrates a might SUPERIOR to the might of a great warrior!

b. Experiencing victory over anger… over our own selves… requires more strength, wisdom, and constant care than is required to conquer a city!

c. It is easier to subdue an enemy without than the one within!

2. Alexander the Great, who conquered the world, was a slave to intemperate anger, and in a fit of anger he slew Cleitus, the best and most intimate of all his friends, and one whom he loved beyond all others.

3. The one who victors over anger is greater than Alexander the Great! Mightier than the US army! Stronger than any military leader the world has ever seen.

4. Military might often leaves battlegrounds covered with corpses… buildings destroyed… lives ruined.

5. This kind of conquering destroys NOTHING… but base, evil passions… and replaces it with peace and kindness.